The Less You Say, The More They Will Hear
People often tell me that they hate giving feedback. I ask why. They say, “I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.” We discuss it and they of course agree that it is worse to keep someone in the dark about their performance than it is to just tell them.
The discussion turns then to “how” to tell them. I usually say “The less you say, the more they will hear.” We work to craft a very specific message. It usually outlines the behaviors that are a problem and the impact of the behaviors. And that is it! No further embellishment. Keep it short and focused and the person gets the message. If they get the message, they can act on it. Nothing kinder then that.
