To many professional service providers, the concept of finding new clients and winning work is intimidating. Even the very term “business development (BD)” strikes terror in the hearts of some professionals. Among my coaching clients, the fear often comes from a mistaken assumption that to succeed in BD one has to be an aggressive salesperson. This couldn’t be less true. So put away your fake smile and your clammy handshake. These tips will have you feeling comfortable and improving your BD results in no time:
It’s a marathon, not a sprint: It may take multiple meetings and interactions via phone/email before you’re ready to propose your services or ask for work. Simply focus on advancing your relationship a little each time you interact. This takes the pressure off feeling like you have to land a big contract over lunch.
Meaningful conversations: Sharing meals with prospective clients can help bring in good work. But the most effective business developers always make lunch more than a chit chat over chicken Caesar. Know what you want to achieve and plan some questions that will help you bring the conversation in that direction when the time is right. For example:
What are you working on?
What does success look like for you/your business?
What gets in the way of achieving this success?
What kind of help do you need?
Talk less, listen more: In 2012, it’s no longer about the aggressive pitch. Instead, build a relationship and find common interests so you both win. Have your prepared questions and also let curiosity be your guide. When in front of the prospect, ask yourself what you’re most curious about and pose your questions from there. Your lunch date will find it refreshing.
Let your prospect guide you when to ask for the work: It’s great to have lunches, drinks and conversations. It is also great to actually win work! Each time you interact with a prospect, check in with them. “What is the logical next step? Have I earned the right to propose on this work? Can we start on this small project so we can solve this problem with you?”
For more on effective BD, check out Get Clients Now by C.J. Hayden. Hayden provides an excellent 28 day plan that will get you into action and bring results. And remember: It doesn’t have to be hard. It could even be fun!
If you are like many of the professional services firm partners I coach, you are under ever increasing pressure to bring new clients to the firm, to deepen relations with existing clients and to increase firm revenue. You likely excel in your professional domain and struggle with business development (BD). And even if you are good at it, you likely feel torn between logging billable hours and investing in BD.
A few years ago, I wrote a post on how I was defining my target market and my niche. To help me, I used a concept from Michael Port’s Book Yourself Solid. Port recommends having a “red velvet rope policy” to help keep out unwanted clients and bring in only ideal clients. Defining your ideal client and your red velvet rope policy is a necessary step in laying a solid marketing foundation for your BD success. And it’s really quite easy (and arguably fun!):
Describe your ideal client (be as detailed as possible):
Who have you loved serving in the past? What kind of company? What kind of file? What kind of people were you dealing with? What did you like about the work?
If you were bringing in only ideal clients (for your practice area or the firm in general), what characteristics would they need to possess in order for you to do your best work for them? Be selfish! Assume you will only work with the best of the best.
Describe your dud clients (again be as detailed as possible):
What kind of past clients have turned you off/ shut you down/ had behaviours or issues you couldn’t tolerate? What kind of clients/ files should not be getting past your “red velvet rope”?
Once you have a clear picture of your duds and your ideals, look at your current roster of clients and categorize them as ideals, duds or neutrals. Port challenges you to fire the duds to open you up to working with only ideal clients. In theory, I really like the notion. In practice, I believe most of my coaching clients would rather phase out the duds and target their BD efforts on bringing in ideal clients.
Well...your ideal clients are waiting. How about getting clear about who they are so you can find them?!
Home › Free Advice › Dress for Success - Make a Difference Campaign
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Dress for Success - Make a Difference Campaign
As a friend of Dress for Success Toronto I would like to invite you to support our first annual "Make a Difference" campaign.
Our organization provides disadvantaged women support on many fronts, including professional dressing services, career development support through mock interviews and our career centre, participation in our Professional Women's Group and mentorship programs. Providing these important services requires more than clothing contributions. Your donation can make a profound difference in a woman’s life.
$50 provides one woman access to our suiting services
$100 provides one woman access to our suiting services & job search support through our career centre
$200 provides one woman access to the whole suite of Dress for Success Toronto programs
$400 provides two women access to the whole suite of Dress for Success Toronto programs
$1000 provides five women access to the whole suite of Dress for Success Toronto programs
I am humbled daily by the amazing women I meet that have benefitted from Dress for Success. I’d like to provide you with a quote from one of our successful Dress for Success participants…
“A suit will last a year or two but it’s the lessons and support we receive that will last a lifetime and help us become successful in our lives and career. Dress for Success was a driving force in my career development. This is about more than just suits; Dress for Success was a part of my survival.”
Helping even one woman means families & the community benefit directly!
Click here to join us in our Make a Difference campaign and make a meaningful difference in a disadvantaged woman’s life this holiday season. Any donation amount is welcome.
Thanks & warmest regards of the season,
Sheila Debly-Magnus
Executive Director
Dress for Success Toronto
We are proud to announce that IMPACT coaching expertise and advice will be featured in a column called “The Coach’s Call” in CICA’s CareerVision newsletter (found on the CASource website). Our first article was published today: http://www.casource.com/memberGlobal/initViewArticleAction.do?id=107061.
I will only do an RFP if I really know the organization well and have a reasonable chance of success due to my relationships.
RFPs are a massive amount of work and are often not read by the senior decision makers.
Understanding the decision process is key. You need to know who is reviewing and deciding at each stage.
You have to work with all of your relationships as well as complete the paperwork or you will be wasting your time regardless of the quality of the submission.
RFPs are counter to idea generation. If you want ideas, you need to start with an openness. RFPs by their nature are exceptionally defined.
RFPs are slanted to big expensive consulting businesses who have teams dedicated to writing RFPs.
If you are small, like us, and you want to respond to an RFP, you need to be innovative and take risks. Be prepared to give them what you think they need not what they ask for.
I seem to be stuck on this concept lately. Maybe because I am getting older. Maybe because I own my own business and have flexibility to decide what I will work on and what I won't. Whatever the reason, I feel the need again to express how important purpose is -- in everything you do.
Purpose comes from within and it is unique to each and every one of us. Purpose is why you do what you do and it is what gives your life meaning. Purpose is doing work you love and getting better at it, helping people, seeing people develop or making a difference. Purpose is not "meeting plan".
As I work through As I work through a "mega" proposal to do a huge piece of work, I get unfocused, I get frustrated, I get refocused. I am tired.
Late yesterday, I somehow rediscovered my purpose. I had temporarily misplaced it as I waded through "mega" proposal to do a huge piece of work for a client. I was trying to figure out how to do what the client asked for. Then I realized, “I just can’t own this. It won’t work and I don’t want to do the work as defined.” After many iterations last night, my purpose allowed me to refocus. I rewrote the proposal, again, made the work much smaller and focused on what IMPACT is good at and what gives us life -- our purpose.
I do what I do because I really enjoy coaching, I am passionate about helping and I love being a little part of helping people be better. That is my purpose and IMPACT's core purpose.
After the rewrite, I wrote to our coaches, "I can now breathe..." I wrote that not because I was holding my breath but because the air had lifted off my shoulders and I felt refreshed.
If the client likes our proposal, it will save them significant money. More importantly, we have stayed true to our purpose and have not been swayed by trying to be everything to everyone in pursuit of the big payout. We all feel good about that.
And the work will be really fun which is the best test of purpose.
You rely on them. You ask them to help you. It is amazing how much this brings people together. Our IMPACT team has always been great. We get along. We like each other. We help each other.
In the past several weeks we have become closer. Why? We have a common goal. We are working on a project that requires all of our expertise. I knew that I couldn’t tackle this project alone. I asked the team to help and, true to form, they stepped up. Guess what? Each day we work through this project, we are more of a team than we were the day before. It makes it all worthwhile.
Home › Free Advice › Steve Jobs Inspired By Communicating From the Inside Out
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Steve Jobs Inspired By Communicating From the Inside Out
Simon Sinek has codified how the world’s most inspiring leaders think, act and communicate. And he concludes that they do exactly the opposite of everyone else. In his 2010 TED Talk, Sinek draws his Golden Circle to emphasize how inspiring leaders/ companies communicate from the inside out. First why, then how, then what. “People don’t buy what you do. They buy why you do it”.
As we collectively mourn the loss of Steve Jobs, Sinek illustrates his code with Apple. Apple believes in challenging the status quo (why they do it); they do it thru beautiful design and easy to use technology (how they do it); they happen to make great computers (what they do).
Just this morning I was informally coaching a small business owner friend. She was rushing to write a proposal for a very large Canadian company. Winning this business would be by far, their biggest account to date. As I listened to her talk about how her partner rushed to create a demo product and crunched the numbers so they could offer a great price ...(what they do), I was struck by how, in rushing to explain what we do and how we do it better than everyone else, we really miss the heart of the matter.
The alternative Sinek offers is to get really grounded in why we do what we do. I would add that gaining a deep understanding of why our prospective client does what he does can be profound. What beliefs do we have in common? This is the sweet spot where magic can happen.
I believe that we all need strong champions and challengers in order to live our best life. This is why I coach leaders.
Why do you do what you do? Things will get a whole lot more compelling for you and everyone else if you would take the time to figure it out.
Home › Free Advice › One at a time? Isn’t that pretty time consuming?
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One at a time? Isn’t that pretty time consuming?
I suggested in my last blog that you focus on moving the middle group when it comes to change. Don’t focus on the people who already do what you want, don’t focus on those who will never do what you want. Focus on the middle – those who want to change and either don’t know how, are lacking confidence or both. Moving each and every one of those people can creat significant change.
How do you move the middle? One person at a time! To move the middle, capture each person's heart and mind. As each individual comes onside, others follow. It is a lot of work at first but it eventually becomes much easier. As momentum builds you suddenly have your change. Jim Collins calls this the "fly wheel effect" and it works. There is no short cut.
Don't try the broad brush. I know it is appealing. It seems more efficient to send everyone on a course or issue an edict from above, but be honest, It never really elicits much change.
Home › Free Advice › There are 35,000 different personality tests available in North America alone
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There are 35,000 different personality tests available in North America alone
How do you know if you are using the right one?
Personality tests are a big part of our coaching process. At the early stage of a new coaching relationship, it's important for individuals to get insights into their strengths and areas of opportunities. There are many tests out there, however not every tool has the right impact. One of the tools that we leverage in our coaching practice is The Birkman Method (http://www.birkman.com/birkmanMethod/whatIsTheBirkmanMethod.php).
We recently used it with one of our executive clients. Through a debrief discussion, we were able to focus on the behaviors that get in the way of him delegating effectively. By identifying those obstacles and leveraging what he is actually great at, we were able to help him set very specific goals around delegation. Following a recent meeting with his coach, he was happy to report that he is now delegating more and he is much happier! Now that's a positive impact!
How do you help large groups of people change their behaviors whether it be coaching, selling, or better customer service?
Do you stand up and issue an edict in the form of a new strategy?
Do you build it into their goals?
Do you change their compensation so they have to make the change in order to make more money?
All those things are what most people do and they have some impact but it is limited.
A better approach is to "move the middle". When you think about the behavior change you want think about the many people who need to change. They will always break down into three groups:
those who already do what you want and already do it well,
those who will never do what you want and
those who would like to but don't know how or need a little nudge. That last group is the "middle" and it is a big group.
Any work you do on the first group will have limited gain – they are already doing all they can. Work on the second group will be time consuming and is unlikely to bear fruit. If you can move everyone in the middle just a little bit, you can make significant change. Move the middle first – but do it one at a time.
Our son plays hockey. Last week he had a lackluster game. He was tired. He floated around the ice and made no impact. I was ready to provide feedback! My husband, also a hockey player, turned to me and said, " A great coach once told me, "After the game is not the time for feedback.” I suggest you congratulate him and move on."
Today our son had a great game. I'll do the same, congratulate him and move on.
Sometimes if makes sense wait to give feedback and sometimes it's good not to give feedback. More often than not they already know how they did.
We are always preaching feedback everywhere, at work, at home and at school. Sometimes we just need to let them think about it and decide for themselves how they did.
Home › Free Advice › Nine Things Successful People Do Differently
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Nine Things Successful People Do Differently
A very to the point and well researched list of nine things successful people do differently. I have witnessed the power of goal setting, reducing temptations, and having grit in my own life and in the lives of my clients. Heidi Grant Halvorson is bang on with these nine points. Print them out. Practice them. You will see your “success meter” climb!
This online 'summit' is a series of 10 free teleseminars being broadcast 2 a day for 5 days from some of the world's leading experts in selling to corporate clients.
We think many of our clients would be interested in attending, so we thought we'd spread the word some more:
Here's a very thorough review of yet another new book on Leadership - Why Are We Bad at Picking Good Leaders? The authors (Jeffrey Cohn and Jay Moran) argue that are seven criteria that prove to be most vital for effective leadership:
As reported by CNN Money/Fortune, this article talks about the rise of coaching for executives, and the change in perception from a "last step" measure, to a proactive way to enhance peoples' skills.
Read the article but even better read the book. Ignore the Goldman Sacks examples that are out of date. Get into the meat of the book. It is thoughtful and well researched and will change the way you approach work. It will also change the way you look at coaching.
Home › Free Advice › When stake holders really matter in your change
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When stake holders really matter in your change
In my last blog, I suggested that leaders not ask for input on a change plan when they are not flexible on that change plan. I suggested a "tell, explain, and gain buy-in to how the stake holder can help implement the change" approach.
Now what if you are the CEO and the stake holder is the Board? Chances are the board gets to veto your decision. If that is your situation -- your stake holder holds veto power -- you need their buy-in. Soooo..... How do you get it?
Do NOT start by building a fancy power point presentation. In my experience many people start here. They feel comfortable when they have a glossy presentation or document ready for presentation. However, glossy presentations rarely get you buy-in. This approach creates an effect similar to my neighbor experience outlined in the last blog. People listen and think about why they don't agree. You have to work hard to get them onside and with this approach, you risk blowing your only shot.
Instead, start by spending some time on stake holder analysis. Answer four questions:
1. Who matters most to this decision?
2. Who has the most influence?
3. What do these people care most about?
4. How do these people make decisions?
Once you have the answers, develop a plan. Implement that plan. After all this work, you can start your power point presentation.
Or are you just talking? A neighbour came to me a few weeks ago to ask my input on an issue that affected both of us. After speaking for several minutes, it became obvious to me that he was less interested in my opinion than he was in convincing me that his opinion was the right one. As you have probably guessed, our opinions on the matter were different.
So now what? I am annoyed. My feeling is "why ask if you have already decided?" I think less of him now than I would have if he had not asked and gone ahead with what he wanted to do. I see him as insensitive and insincere.
All this got me thinking about leadership. (Something I do a lot!) Leaders today understand that the best way to implement any major change is to get buy- in from key stake holders in the decision.
Here's a little lesson in buy-in courtesy of my neighbour. If you go into a discussion unprepared to change your opinion, you are better off not asking and just going ahead with the decision. When clients ask me about obtaining buy-in around change I usually ask, "Are you OK if they say "No" to your proposed change?" If the answer to that question is "No", then I suggest that they don't ask for opinions on the change. Instead I suggest they tell the stake holder what the change is and why it is important. The leader should ask for the stake holder's support and make it clear that the decision has been made. The leader can obtain input on how the stake holder can help but not on the decision itself. Asking for input when you are not prepared to change your approach reflects poorly on you and creates greater resistance to change. You are better off not asking and going ahead.
One caveat to this..... If the stake holder can quash your decision you need a different approach! If that's the case read my next blog.
Interesting website... all about leadership theories.
I particularly like the the “portable guide to management” and the “portable guide to leadership”. They are short guides that outline all of the major theories on management and leadership. Good, quick reads.
Home › Free Advice › You can’t spend too much time setting expectations
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You can’t spend too much time setting expectations
I recently employed two different people in the same contract job.
I followed the same orientation process with both young women. I spent a couple of days orienting them to their new job and to their new surroundings. I shadowed them for the first few days making sure I was available for questions and then I let them run with their new roles.
One employee was beyond our expectations. She did everything she was asked and more. If she thought something should be done, she did it. If she had a suggestion, she made it. When her term was over we knew we missed her but it took a few weeks before we realized how much she added. She was the perfect employee for us and honestly I was lucky.
The other employee was also good. She did mostly what she was asked and yet did it well. She didn't do much extra. We had a few issues, nothing major but each time we had to have one of "those" conversations. We liked her and certainly missed her after she left. After all she did her job and she was a lovely young girl. She made less of an impact. I was not as lucky.
Our third contract employee is coming next week. I have learned from the first two the importance of setting expectations both on the expected job duties and on how we want the nature of employment relationship to be. You cannot leave this to chance. When you do, it forces many more negative conversations then are necessary and those conversations are not fun for either party.
This year I have added to my orientation process. I have put my expectations clearly in writing.(People who know me will be shocked by the detail. I hate process and detail. So when I take the time to be detailed, it is because I think it is really important!)
Our new employee will now have a document to refer to when she is unsure. I will also have something to refer back to so there is no confusion if we need to have a tough conversation.
(By the way, I will not just hand her the document. We will sit down over a leisurely coffee and go through it together discussing details and clarifying all points.)
I used my experiences from the first two contract positions to build this written document. I have been refining it over the past week or so. I am happy that is clear on duties and on the nature of the relationship. The nature of the relationship is important because it tells her things like "we like initiative" or "we expect you to become part of our team". Understanding both the duties and the nature of the relationship helps her better understand how to approach her role.
I will let you know how it goes but I am convinced that spending the extra time on writing out my expectations will mean that our third contract employee will start more effectively than she would have without the extra work. I am determined to rely less on luck this time. I think she will also appreciate the clarity. After all, new jobs are tough sometimes.
Home › Free Advice › You can’t succeed on positive thinking alone
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You can’t succeed on positive thinking alone
Here's a good article on positive thinking.
It occurs to me that when people are asked to think about their “envisioned future state”, it is just as important for them to make sure they are also noticing the potential barriers and thinking through the steps to success.
Home › Free Advice › Delegation: sometimes it is like washing dishes
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Delegation: sometimes it is like washing dishes
Let's face it. There are very few people who relish washing dishes. Our kids certainly don't enjoy it and make it known to me on a regular basis. So what do I say to them? "Guys I know washing dishes is a drag. I don't really like it either. We have to do it so let's do our best and get it finished so we can do other things." They grudgingly wash away.
My point? In a perfect world we would only delegate the really stretching and interesting work but sometimes you just have to "do the dishes." When you are delegating mundane work, acknowledge that fact and encourage your staff to do their best. Tell them it just has to be done and that you've been there. It makes it easier.
Great leaders ask pointed questions every opportunity they get. Great leaders ask pointed questions all day and in every interaction. Why? So they know what is really going on. So they know who is good. They know what is working. They know what is not. They also find out what's next.
Asking really good questions is a rare skill. If you lead a group of people, I challenge you to consider if you are asking really good questions to a variety of people or if you are listening to the opinions of a select few. In my experience, it is very easy for senior people to slip into the "safe zone" of listening only to a select number of people. You'll be better if you make it a practice to ask really good questions of many different people in many different circumstances.
Home › Free Advice › HR people seem to be too busy all the time
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HR people seem to be too busy all the time
I don't work with a lot of HR people but I do work with a few. It seems to me that all of the HR people I work with share one common trait. They are too busy. HR people are most likely to cancel meetings, most likely to have voice messages that say they are in all day meetings and most likely to have trouble getting back to you for several days. This trend is universal in every organization we work with.
So what? Maybe it means nothing but as a former HR person, I find the trend interesting. Either HR teams are understaffed or working on too many things or both. It feels like a function that needs a refocus. Everyone needs time to reflect, answer calls and emails and have lunch -- particularly those in HR. How can you help others when you have no time to reflect yourself?
Home › Free Advice › Is it harder for direct and outgoing women?
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Is it harder for direct and outgoing women?
Yes it is. I was talking to a client yesterday and she was complaining that men who state their point of view in a clear direct way are admired yet women who do the same are seen as pushy. You know what? She’s right. There have been lots of studies that prove this out. I can tell you from my own coaching experience that it is in fact true.
Now what? Not much. There is not much women can do about this except notice it and modify their behavior where necessary. I hope the men who read this will do the same. Sometimes things are just not fair and we learn to accept and "deal".
Home › Free Advice › How do we create more meaning in the workplace?
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How do we create more meaning in the workplace?
Step one is to make sure we aren’t choking the meaning that is already there. This sounds simple yet it takes a concerted effort. Watch how experiments with adults building Lego provides insight into compensation, motivation and meaning in work.
People too often make feedback about the other person. "You need to be a better communicator." "You need to improve your ability to coach your staff."
It much more powerful to make the feedback about you rather than the other person. "I really like to be kept in the loop. My preference is to be updated weekly on this project. Will that work for you?". "People management is really important to me. I would like you to make sure that you complete all of your performance reviews in person and on schedule. Can you commit to that?"
Sound better? Of course it does. It is not that the first examples are wrong they are just not as effective as the second examples above. If you want people to listen, make it about you most of the time.
Home › Free Advice › Coaching doesn’t guarantee that a person will be “fixed”
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Coaching doesn’t guarantee that a person will be “fixed”
It happens often, someone hears I am coaching someone and then proceeds to tell me all the things that are wrong with that person. Let me be clear, I don’t tell others who I coach, often it is the coachee who mentions it to others. Once people hear that someone is being coached, their expectations of change are heightened. They expect all faults to be “fixed”.
That is not the purpose of coaching – to create perfect people. The purpose of coaching is to help someone meet their personal objectives which can range anywhere from getting to promoted, to improving their business development or becoming a better delegator. Good coaching is focused. Good coaching will not fix all flaws. Nor should it – wouldn’t life be boring if we could ‘fix “ people?
An article on how to ‘prospect” effectively for professional services. Start high. It takes more touch points then you think... 7,8,9 or more sometimes.
Home › Free Advice › Everyone is interested in diversity lately
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Everyone is interested in diversity lately
Why? Because the economy has turned around. When business is slow we lay people off and hold off promoting people. Indications are that this has disadvantaged our diverse (women, minorities) groups more. I have seen this as more and more of my clients have asked me about the “diversity issue” in recent weeks. I just read a recent report from PAR (Project for Attorney Retention in DC) that seems to confirm that we have taken a step backward.
“San Francisco, June 3, 2011 – There is not a lot to celebrate when it comes to the gender composition of the new partner classes. According to a survey of the new partner class of 2011 released by the Project for Attorney Retention (PAR), law firms slid two percentage points in promotions of their women attorneys since last year, 32% compared to 34% in 2010.” http://attorneyretention.org/
When the economy improves, we get back on track with our diversity initiatives so this year many organizations have a lot of catching up to do. How do they catch-up? Give an extra “leg up” to your diverse groups by coaching them as individuals and in teams. Figure out what these people need to do to be promoted and give them a coach to help them close that gap. Then take a leap of faith and put them in the more senior job. The coach can help them be successful even if they have a few gaps. There are few better uses of coaching.
The “peoply stuff” drives growth (as in Google, Facebook and Apple). It is not an “add-on”. Time to make it core. We are, after all, a service economy.
My husband told me the other day that I was being negative a lot lately. I, of course, argued with him. "I am not. I am just stating facts." He argued back. You know how it goes.
I left the argument having made my points but then I thought about it. "He's right. A lot of little things are bugging me lately." Why? Probably because I am really busy and my back hurts all the time. But that doesn't really matter. What matters is that it is no fun being negative. So I stopped.
It is that easy. Every time I thought about the monster house going up next door, I instead thought, "It doesn't matter. It will raise property values." Every time I thought I would lose it when our children left clothes and hockey cards on the floor, I instead took a deep breath and politely took one of them by the hand and took them back to the scene of the crime and helped them fix it. Every time I started to get annoyed at our banker sending me emails asking me to call him, I instead took a deep breath and sent him back an email telling him when I would be available for a call.
The point? I feel better. I am no longer negative. All I had to do was focus on it.
Spring is a good time to reflect on all things new. New growth. New challenges. New issues. New people.
It’s also a good time to change things up. Over the course of the past few months we have been doing some things differently. We’ve been privileged to partner with a number of clients to launch new approaches to coaching. We thought we’d share some of those stories with you.
There’s a fresh way to develop high potentials.
Recently Claire, supported by Wendi and Sophie, worked with one client to design and deliver a customized high potential program— “a Shadow Senior Management Team”— that includes a combination of peer coaching and one-on-one coaching. Now, five months into the program, we’ve seen incredible growth in both the individuals and the group. They’ve developed tremendous comfort with one another and with their IMPACT coaches. They’ve developed new strategic skills, raised their professional profiles, and have become more confident leaders. They are acting like a senior management team. They are a source of inspiration to us as well as a reminder of how well peer coaching can work!
Don’t just test. Onboard effectively.
You can use personality tests to help you hire and onboard employees effectively. Sophie is a specialist in the Birkman Method. She worked closely with a client to help choose the right new hire for that client. Sophie also met with the client and her new hire and used the Birkman to have a practical dialogue around how they can best work together starting from day one. Both the client and the new hire have reported that the experience was rewarding, practical and game- changing for them.
Speaking of new things, we’re excited to launch the new and improved IMPACT website. We’ve made simple changes to the site to keep it fresh, make it even more user-friendly and include exciting new information and resources.
We’ve poled our coaches for their best tidbits of advice and we’ve begun to post them on Twitter. To receive our tips, follow us on twitter:www.twitter.com/impactcoach.
And in the spirit of the season of new growth, if you like our work, please tell your friends and colleagues.
A 6 minute video (ish) that describes the marshmallow experiment. It promotes the idea of using a prototype approach to teamwork and design (build it, get feedback, refine, build again…). I think teams can take the same approach to building a meeting format that works for them. Try it, see if it works, refine it, and try again.
Home › Free Advice › How do you know you will love a career choice?
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How do you know you will love a career choice?
You don’t really until you do it. But there is a quick and relatively simple way to tell. Find out what a “normal day” looks like. Seek out people in the profession you want to work in and ask the question, “When you come in to work each day what do you normally spend your time doing? What does a typical day look like?” Once you have the answer to this question. Ask yourself, “Is this the kind of thing I want to do every day for the rest of my working career?” If not, keep searching for your new career.
I will give you a very personal example. Many years ago, thought I would like a career change and that I would like to become an interior designer. I love interior design and could spend hours perusing decor magazines and talking about design. I love looking at fabric swatches and touring great architecture. I mentioned this possible career change to some friends and low and behold, they asked me to help them with their design challenges. Here’s the hitch. While I think I did a pretty good job, I didn’t love the process. I learned that designers really need to love shopping. I don’t. I couldn’t imagine spending all my days driving around looking in shops.
Design for me continues to be a “passionate hobby” but will not be my chosen career. I much prefer coaching.
Home › Free Advice › Make sure your career fits your desired lifestyle
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Make sure your career fits your desired lifestyle
A client of mine should be an equestrian. He loves horses. He loves being outdoors. He is instead, a successful lawyer. Has he “settled” do you think?
We recently conducted a Birkman test on him. The Birkman indicated that he indeed would love being a equestrian. We joked about this—quitting and riding horses for a living. Here’s what he said, “Sandra, you know I would love to be in a barn with horses every day. There is only one small hitch. I also really like having a cottage in Muskoka and I love going on nice trips. So riding will always be a passionate hobby.”
I love this concept of “passionate hobby”. I often tell our kids, figure out what you love and do it for a living. The fact is you can and do love doing several things. My client also loves “lawyering.” He loves helping clients solve problems. Being a lawyer allows him to live the lifestyle he wants and allows him to pursue riding. When thinking about a career change remember there is no simple answer. You should choose something that you love that supports the lifestyle you want to live. You can still pursue a passionate hobby on the side.
Home › Free Advice › Difficult Conversations: 9 Common Mistakes
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Difficult Conversations: 9 Common Mistakes
This slideshow is excellent. I have never seen such a complete picture of how to deal with a difficult conversation. I particularly like slides 5 and 6 but it is all excellent.
Home › Free Advice › Help Support Your Community and Clean Out Your Closets
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Help Support Your Community and Clean Out Your Closets
We need your help!
Join the Bay Street Suit Challenge as a sponsor and help members of your organization clean out your closets for a good cause!
The Bay Street Suit Challenge will kick off again on May 16, 2010. I strongly encourage your firm to join us in this worthwhile event which will run from May 16, 2010 to June 3, 2010.
Registration forms and logos required, please, by Friday, May 6th.
In support of the three “Rs” - Recycle, Reduce and Re-use - this is an excellent opportunity to allow for persons in need to re-use gently used business attire. Dress For Success needs “gently” used business clothing, accessories and shoes. The clothing that is donated should be clean and appropriate for an office environment. Please help to make this year’s clothing drive a success. Just a few articles of clothing can go a long way.
Sponsorship Levels:
Title Sponsor: SOLD - KPMG
Silk Suit $10,000
Wool Suit $5,000
Cotton Suit $2,500
Or if your firm is small, please help at the:
“Participant Level” $500 (helps to defer the adminstrative costs associated with handling and sorting donated business attire)
Confirmed sponsors include: Gowlings, RBC Capital Markets, BMO Capital Markets, Desjardins Capital Markets, Stifel Nicolaus Weisel, Mercer & Direct Engergy
Dress for Success Toronto is a registered Canadian Charity that changes the lives of Canadians and New Canadians by providing low income individuals with the necessary professional attire and career development tools they need to achieve success. Our unique wardrobe service helps clients look impressive, feel confident, and find employment.
Founded in 2000 by Jessica Roelink, the organization is volunteer-driven, utilizing the skills of many talented people. Since its inception, Dress for Success Toronto has outfitted over 8,000+ clients with over 50,000 professional garments and accessories.
Home › Free Advice › The Less You Say, The More They Will Hear
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The Less You Say, The More They Will Hear
People often tell me that they hate giving feedback. I ask why. They say, “I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.” We discuss it and they of course agree that it is worse to keep someone in the dark about their performance than it is to just tell them.
The discussion turns then to “how” to tell them. I usually say “The less you say, the more they will hear.” We work to craft a very specific message. It usually outlines the behaviors that are a problem and the impact of the behaviors. And that is it! No further embellishment. Keep it short and focused and the person gets the message. If they get the message, they can act on it. Nothing kinder then that.
Home › Free Advice › Authentic Leadership Can Be Bad Leadership
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Authentic Leadership Can Be Bad Leadership
Some good tips on changing behaviour. The most important part is to ask for the feedback, examine it unemotionally and decide to act upon it. The consequence could make it fun for some people. http://bit.ly/fDd85w
In preparation for an upcoming client workshop on Strategic Planning, I put together a list of resources that I thought would be useful to get them going. Then I thought: why not share this with everyone?
Home › Free Advice › Keep that vacation feeling… For at least another week.
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Keep that vacation feeling… For at least another week.
Everyone is going on or coming back from vacation this time of year. One of our clients just came back from a cruise and said to me, “I have one simple objective in my first week back. I am relaxed now. My perspective is great. I am working to keep this feeling for one extra week.” Once he does that, he plans to extend that feeling week by week right up until the next vacation. With focus he can do it. My challenge to you is to do the same. Next vacation extend that “vacation feeling” for one more week. And then do it again.
Home › Free Advice › Overfunctioning creates underfunctioning.
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Overfunctioning creates underfunctioning.
What is “overfunctioning”? I looked it up and came up with nothing in the dictionary. It is not an official word. Even though it is not a word, is a word I use a lot.
So here is my definition of “overfunctioning”. It means doing more for another person than they actually need. It means doing so much that the other person really doesn’t have to do anything. If someone asks you for help and you do more than help, you actually do that work then you are overfunctioning.
What is wrong with this? In the short run and in certain situations it isn’t too harmful. Let’s face it, overfunctioners make great employees. They are thorough, reliable, and conscientious. The work of an overfunctioner is usually impeccable.
In the long run, there is a lot wrong with overfunctioning. Eventually the overfunctioner gets tired and frustrated and feels under appreciated. By their very nature, overfunctioners get very little recognition for their toil. Even more importantly overfunctioners create underfunctioners. Underfunctioners are people who learn to do less. Why would an underfunctioner do more when they can rely on the overfunctioner to do it for them? Underfunctioners regress and become less effective and less engaged. They lose their skills. Everyone loses.
Home › Free Advice › If you accept imperfection in yourself, you can accept it in others.
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If you accept imperfection in yourself, you can accept it in others.
Several years ago I worked with a client who set very high standards for his people. Anyone who didn’t meet his standards heard from him. If his staff sent out work that was below his expectations, he would bring them into his office and itemize all that was wrong with their work. People would float into his office with a question and if the question wasn’t well thought out, he would interrupt and say, “You clearly haven’t done your homework. Come back and ask me again when you have.” If people took too long to explain their position he would lean back in his chair, cross his arms and sigh loudly. Needless to say, some people were frightened of him. Many of you may know someone like this and might wonder where this comes from. Here’s what I learned about him and about many others just like him.
He was so hard on others because he was very hard on himself. You can’t always see this but trust me – it is often the case. If this client made a mistake, he would agonize about it for days. Thinking things like, “How could I be so stupid to as missed that? Why wasn’t I better prepared? Why aren’t I more detailed?” His staff would likely have been quite surprised to know that.
In our coaching relationship, I helped him to be nicer to himself. He learned to be more comfortable with his own imperfection and he learned to stop beating himself up. Then the miracle happened, he allowed everyone some imperfection and he started to be nicer to his team. People were no longer afraid.
Home › Free Advice › March 8th is the 100 year anniversary of International Women’s Day. Donate $100 for 100 years.
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March 8th is the 100 year anniversary of International Women’s Day. Donate $100 for 100 years.
Many of you know that I have been a supporter of Dress for Success (DfS) Toronto and recently been appointed Chair of the board. DfS Toronto will be joining a world-wide celebration as part of International Women’s Day (IWD).
Celebrated annually on March 8th and globally recognized as a day of celebration of women’s achievements politically, economically and socially, it will be a day to raise visibility and raise funds for disadvantaged women – a powerful new way to put the spotlight on the economic independence of low income women. The first International Women’s Day event was in 1911 and 2011 marks the Global Centenary Year.
Please help us celebrate by matching the 100th Anniversary of International Women’s day with a $100 gift. Your donation will enable a woman to make the transition to empowerment and professional success. Here is just one example of how your gift can make a difference:
”I just got a job with St. Joseph’s (hospital) as a Medical Laboratory Technologist and I’d like to thank Dress for Success Toronto for providing me with nice attire for the interview. I appreciate all your help in choosing me a dress that would look professional on me.”
- Fatima, Feb. 7, 2011
A gift to support Dress for Success Toronto in honour of the Centenary Celebrations of IWD is an investment in women, equality and your community. I will be making my own donation. Please join me by making yours. Gifts of any amount are gratefully accepted! Donations can be made on-line at:
As people start to work with me, one of the questions I get asked is, “Do I have to lie on a couch?” For most people this is tongue in cheek but for some, it is a question about how coaching really works. Here’s what to expect from a good coach:
You start with your objectives. You decide what you want to accomplish by working with the coach and most coaching conversations will be about progress against those objectives.
You and the coach collect some data. Coaches are better when they have some data beyond your own impressions. Data usually includes personality tests (like Myers Briggs), and other people’s impression of how you are doing (particularly your boss’ but also the opinions of others around you who are interested in your development).
Coaching conversations need to happen regularly (usually about every two weeks). Long lags between conversations tends to cause conversations to wander into theory and away from practicality.
Coaches are more like sports coaches than psychiatrists or psychologists. A coach is trained to help you with becoming better at what you do and not necessarily at “getting deeply into your head” (unless the coaches are also trained as psychologists or psychiatrists).
Coaching conversations are mostly practical and tactical. You will be doing most of the talking. The coach will be questioning and listening. Each coaching conversation focuses on important things that just happened and important things that are about to happen. You and the coach examine these things together, pull out the lessons and plan for the next interaction or event.
Coaching relationships have an end. At the end, you and the coach will discuss both how well you met your coaching objectives and how well the coaching experience suited your needs. You agree on a go forward plan that may or may not include the coach.
If you find your coaching conversations are not effective, you may need another coach or be better served by a psychiatrist or psychologist. Most importantly, your time is valuable, find someone who really helps you.
Leadership communications -- blah, blah, blah! That's how most people experience most leadership communications. Most are long winded email updates written by someone other than the leader or quarterly presentations on fancy Powerpoint slides (also written by someone other than the leader).
The subject matter of these communications is usually the organization's strategy. The strategy often comes off as sounding like platitudes. People feel preached at, bored or leave wondering what their role is. So how can you be different?
First, leadership is personal. People want to know what you really believe in and they want to hear that in your own words. All leadership communications are an opportunity to engage people in your personal vision. So, write it yourself. Write your own speeches. Write your own email updates. Use your communications people to guide you but don't let them write for you.
Second, communicate often.More often than you think you should. People aren't motivated by 4 communications a year. To motivate people you need to build relationships. To build relationships, you need to invest time. So plan to communicate every couple of weeks, using many different formats (emails, blogs, meetings, hallway chats). I find blogs to be one of the most effective tools for this. Blogs are short. Blogs are personal. Blogs are frequent. More leaders should blog.
Third, be real and be interactive (another reason blogs work). Share both your successes and your challenges. Ask questions of your people. Every leader has something that is keeping them up at night. Ask about that thing that keeps you up at night. Get your people's opinion and help them see the complexity of the issue. Have a real dialogue with your people.
Finally, sit at their desk. Not literally but figuratively. See yourself sitting at the desk of one of the people you are talking to. Ask yourself, "What do I need this person to do differently tomorrow? What do they care most about each and every day?' If you don't know the answers, ask. Make sure every communication closes with the answer to one of these two questions.
I’ve finished up more than one coaching meeting with the thought, “This client may not need me. He already knows what to do.” Sometimes I’ve agonized over how I can add more value for those clients who just seem to have spectacular self-awareness and the ability to make great decisions. I make it a point to ask my clients whether they are getting what they need from me, yet I somehow doubted it when these seemingly totally “together” clients answered yes.
One day, one client brought all my agonizing to a halt when she said, “You know what, you’re a great mirror for me.” I was reminded that every client is different. Every client has different needs, and I can add value in different ways for different clients. There are really talented leaders out there who don’t need me to give advice. Rather, what they appreciate about their coaching sessions is the opportunity to talk things though confidentially, have me listen and challenge them. Sometimes the coach can be a sounding board. Sometimes devil’s advocate. Sometimes the trusted adviser.
Sometimes a mirror.
If you have a knowledgeable client, remember: they haven’t hired you because you are smarter than they are or because you know more about the subject matter that you are consulting on. They have hired you to help them. Don’t worry about yourself and what value you are bringing. Focus on them and give them what they need even if it feels uncomfortable.
Feel like you’re back in your elementary schoolyard, being pushed and taunted by the school bully? But really, you’re in your office and the person making your work life miserable is a co-worker or boss. That person appears to be advancing his or her position at your expense. Perhaps they engage in behavior that is unnecessarily rude, aggressive and even debilitating to you. Some of these behaviors might be: screaming at you in front of people; repeatedly ignoring or rudely dismissing your ideas; badmouthing you to others; deliberately ignoring you or putting you out of the loop; being consistently judgmental, indiscreet and untimely; or blaming you for issues and problems.
Just like that school-yard bully, an office bully is someone who offloads their anger and fear on a selected victim in an attempt to maintain or gain control and push forward their self-interest. And many people find that the harder they work, or the more they display a strong sense of ethics and try to “do the right thing”, the more they are targeted by the bully.
Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for a workplace bully to be rewarded for aggressive behavior. Some people might call him/her the person who tells-it-like-it-is, or the person who cuts to the heart of the matter, and this praise makes it harder for you to stand up to the bully or even do something about the situation. But you should do something…here are a few tips:
Park your emotion. This is not about you. It is about the other person. The more you let that person get to you, the more power they will have over you. This is the most difficult and most important tip. Take a deep breath and visualize pushing the emotion you are feeling out of your body.
Don’t react. If you have truly parked your emotion, you should be able to ignore the bad behavior. Like your mother always told you, “If you don’t react, they will get bored and go and bully someone else.”
Avoid confrontation where possible. When you can, work over email or voicemail with this person. If you don’t need them in a meeting, don’t invite them. For heaven’s sake, don’t go to lunch with them!
Bring a buddy. It is tougher to gang up on two people. If the bully still behaves badly, you will have a witness.
Stand up for yourself. You’ll notice that we put this last. We think it is better to diffuse a bully than to fight with one. If you are forced to defend yourself:
Be factual. Keep your message simple. “I completed the project on time and on budget.”
Don’t justify your position. It reduces your power and draws you into the argument.
Be prepared to repeat your message. You may have to repeat it several times in order to be heard.
Be prepared to walk away. Keep your interaction with the bully short and focused.
Don’t bully back. Don’t yell or engage in personal attacks. Stay professional.
There are many helpful web resources on how to deal with bullies. Many of these are aimed at school-aged kids, but the advice shared translates well to the workplace. Check out http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/bullies.html for more info on bullying.
Home › Free Advice › What do you do when you just can’t stand a co-worker?
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What do you do when you just can’t stand a co-worker?
The easy answer is to quit, but for most people quitting just isn’t an option
Here’s a quick guide on how to deal with a boss or co-worker who is making your life miserable:
Figure out whether your issue is with the co-worker or whether you real frustration is that you’re unhappy with your job.
If the cause of your unhappiness is indeed your co-worker, assess how important that person is to your daily work. If you interact with him/her regularly and you need him/her to get your job done, then you’ve got an issue to deal with (which we will discuss further below). But if that person is peripheral to your job, then it may be worth sucking it up, keeping communication to a minimum, and going about your daily work.
If you assess that the person is essential to your job, and is unlikely to change, go ahead and look for a new job. Life it too short to stick with an untenable situation. It might feel like you can’t move but short term pain can be better than long term suffering. Long term in a job that makes you unhappy will likely impact your self esteem. If you can, wait until you’ve landed a new position before handing in your resignation!
If you choose to stay, learn to cope:
Learn to argue constructively. Keep it objective. Avoid making it personal by taking the emotion out of a message. For further advice on constructive conflict, check out our last blog.
Avoid email badminton. If it’s a sensitive issue or important conversation, do it in person or voice to voice. It is common for people to choose to conduct more contentious conversations over email in order to avoid uncomfortable face to face interaction with the other party. The problem with this approach is that it can turn into a back-and-forth argument over email that is not resolved or that escalates. Rule of thumb: if you’ve gone back and forth unproductively over email more than once, pick up the phone or pay the co-worker a visit to discuss in person.
Find support. Look for support and recognition from a mentor, coach or co-worker (and avoid bad-mouthing the co-worker.
Build your network. Make sure people know the good work you’re doing. Surround yourself with people who make you feel positive as much as you can.
For more on this topic, check out the book Career Warfare.
Everyone who coaches anyone should read this article. Science now confirms that a positive and forward looking approach to coaching works better than finding flaws.
Home › Free Advice › Go ahead. Throw down the gauntlet (and encourage constructive conflict).
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Go ahead. Throw down the gauntlet (and encourage constructive conflict).
The last IMPACT blog dealt with the downward spiral of those never-ending arguments, but let’s be clear: disagreement in the workplace is not a bad thing. Conflict can be good if it is done in a non-harmful way—with the parties involved disagreeing without being disagreeable. In fact, conflict is often an essential part of good team interaction and good decision-making. A team environment in which team-members sit around simply nodding their heads in synchronization is often an unhealthy one.
According to Team Management Profiles, one of the psycho-metric assessments we like to use with teams we work with, “innovating is a key aspect of teamwork and involves challenging the way things are currently done.” This does not mean that teams should regularly reinvent every process, it just means that effective teams sometimes need to challenge the status-quo. And doing so can often lead to some tough and tense discussions or fights.
Further, when a team is making an important decision, considering disparate viewpoints and allowing space for the team to challenge conventional thinking can help the team arrive at a better final decision.
Whether the conflict is in a one-on-one or team situation, the important part is to fight fair. It may be a cliché, but it’s one worth repeating. Here are a few tips to help ensure constructive, rather than divisive, conflict:
Agree on the ground rules: It is crucial to ensure that team-members have the space to share their idea or viewpoint without being cut-down or personally attacked by others. Here are some suggestions for ground rules a team could agree on:
Park your emotions. Don’t make it personal. When disagreeing, focus on the content of the idea, not attacking the person who introduced it. Once someone at the table feels hurt or disrespected, he/she won’t be listening, they’ll be defending.
Rein in rude non-verbal behavior (loud sighing, eye rolling, etc).
Avoid invalidating other team-member’s opinions. Each person is entitled to their own opinion or perspective. Rather than making an invalidating statement like, “You don’t really think that, do you?” or “You can’t be serious,” try, “Help me better understand your perspective.”
Be factual. Avoid opinions and stick to facts
Be helpful. Rather than just point out problems, suggest possible solutions.
Allow time for team-members to blue sky. Make it known that out-of-left-field-type ideas are welcome. Brainstorming can be a powerful tool!
Make sure everyone has airtime. Use a facilitator trick: keep track of who has contributed and who hasn’t then draw out the person who hasn’t spoken up yet.
So next time you sense a conflict brewing within the team, don’t throw up the white flag. Let the disagreement unfold, adhere to the ground rules and see where it leads.
Most of us are familiar with the back and forth bickering of kids in the school yard fighting over a ball, or kids at home battling one another for the television remote. It starts harmlessly—a quiet dispute, but quickly builds and crescendos into shouting and, at times, tears. We associate kids with this kind of annoying interaction, and we know resolutely that it is bad behavior, yet so many of us allow ourselves to get sucked into the same argument trap in the workplace.
With our colleagues we may not raise our voices or dissolve into tears, but we do argue.
Think about it for a second. When is the last time you tried to prove to a colleague that your opinion or idea was the right one? Maybe they sent you an email disagreeing with you. You dug in your heels and returned an email telling them why they’re wrong. They sent a rebuttal. You sent another email restating your point. And it went on and on. One of our IMPACT coaches accurately described this as email badminton. Ping. Ping. There we go, arguing back and forth across cyberspace, which can lead to misinterpretation, confusion, and wasted time.
Or you do it in person. Someone says something. You disagree. They argue the same point again. And so it goes. Let’s get this clear: whether you raise you voice or not, you’ve engaged in an argument not a discussion.
While we may have shed the childish did not, did so routine in favour of fancier words, it’s still unproductive behavior.
Maybe we should simply adopt and adapt the advice our mothers gave us: “Both of you – put down the remote (in our case, the blackberry) and work it out.”
Home › Free Advice › Teams – the more diversified the better
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Teams – the more diversified the better
Below is a great article from the Globe and Mail newspaper. The article focuses on women and how women increase the “collective intelligence” of the team – not because women are more intelligent but because they tend to be better at teasing out and listening to diverse opinions. I am thrilled that this has been proven by research. I have personally seen it in action.
The best team I have worked with is incredibly diverse – all different personalities, different genders and different backgrounds. I know they were diverse not just because they looked different but because we measured it – we did personality profiles on all of them. They are the best team in my opinion because they actually drove change through their organization – they got results. Diverse teams are often harder to manage– there is often more conflict and more discussion. Everyone does not agree easily. This is what makes them better.
If you are like many of the professional services firm partners I coach, you are under ever increasing pressure to bring new clients to the firm, to deepen relations with existing clients and to increase firm revenue. You likely excel in your professional domain and struggle with business development (BD). And even if you are good at it, you likely feel torn between logging billable hours and investing in BD. 
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Everyone is going on or coming back from vacation this time of year. One of our clients just came back from a cruise and said to me, “I have one simple objective in my first week back. I am relaxed now. My perspective is great. I am working to keep this feeling for one extra week.” Once he does that, he plans to extend that feeling week by week right up until the next vacation. With focus he can do it. My challenge to you is to do the same. Next vacation extend that “vacation feeling” for one more week. And then do it again.
I’ve finished up more than one coaching meeting with the thought, “This client may not need me. He already knows what to do.” Sometimes I’ve agonized over how I can add more value for those clients who just seem to have spectacular self-awareness and the ability to make great decisions. I make it a point to ask my clients whether they are getting what they need from me, yet I somehow doubted it when these seemingly totally “together” clients answered yes.