Did not. Did so. Did not. Did so.
Most of us are familiar with the back and forth bickering of kids in the school yard fighting over a ball, or kids at home battling one another for the television remote. It starts harmlessly—a quiet dispute, but quickly builds and crescendos into shouting and, at times, tears. We associate kids with this kind of annoying interaction, and we know resolutely that it is bad behavior, yet so many of us allow ourselves to get sucked into the same argument trap in the workplace.
With our colleagues we may not raise our voices or dissolve into tears, but we do argue.
Think about it for a second. When is the last time you tried to prove to a colleague that your opinion or idea was the right one? Maybe they sent you an email disagreeing with you. You dug in your heels and returned an email telling them why they’re wrong. They sent a rebuttal. You sent another email restating your point. And it went on and on. One of our IMPACT coaches accurately described this as email badminton. Ping. Ping. There we go, arguing back and forth across cyberspace, which can lead to misinterpretation, confusion, and wasted time.
Or you do it in person. Someone says something. You disagree. They argue the same point again. And so it goes. Let’s get this clear: whether you raise you voice or not, you’ve engaged in an argument not a discussion.
While we may have shed the childish did not, did so routine in favour of fancier words, it’s still unproductive behavior.
Maybe we should simply adopt and adapt the advice our mothers gave us: “Both of you – put down the remote (in our case, the blackberry) and work it out.”
