A client of mine should be an equestrian. He loves horses. He loves being outdoors. He is instead, a successful lawyer. Has he “settled” do you think?
We recently conducted a Birkman test on him. The Birkman indicated that he indeed would love being a equestrian. We joked about this—quitting and riding horses for a living. Here’s what he said, “Sandra, you know I would love to be in a barn with horses every day. There is only one small hitch. I also really like having a cottage in Muskoka and I love going on nice trips. So riding will always be a passionate hobby.”
I love this concept of “passionate hobby”. I often tell our kids, figure out what you love and do it for a living. The fact is you can and do love doing several things. My client also loves “lawyering.” He loves helping clients solve problems. Being a lawyer allows him to live the lifestyle he wants and allows him to pursue riding. When thinking about a career change remember there is no simple answer. You should choose something that you love that supports the lifestyle you want to live. You can still pursue a passionate hobby on the side.
This slideshow is excellent. I have never seen such a complete picture of how to deal with a difficult conversation. I particularly like slides 5 and 6 but it is all excellent.
Join the Bay Street Suit Challenge as a sponsor and help members of your organization clean out your closets for a good cause!
The Bay Street Suit Challenge will kick off again on May 16, 2010. I strongly encourage your firm to join us in this worthwhile event which will run from May 16, 2010 to June 3, 2010.
Registration forms and logos required, please, by Friday, May 6th.
In support of the three “Rs” - Recycle, Reduce and Re-use - this is an excellent opportunity to allow for persons in need to re-use gently used business attire. Dress For Success needs “gently” used business clothing, accessories and shoes. The clothing that is donated should be clean and appropriate for an office environment. Please help to make this year’s clothing drive a success. Just a few articles of clothing can go a long way.
Sponsorship Levels:
Title Sponsor: SOLD - KPMG
Silk Suit $10,000
Wool Suit $5,000
Cotton Suit $2,500
Or if your firm is small, please help at the:
“Participant Level” $500 (helps to defer the adminstrative costs associated with handling and sorting donated business attire)
Confirmed sponsors include: Gowlings, RBC Capital Markets, BMO Capital Markets, Desjardins Capital Markets, Stifel Nicolaus Weisel, Mercer & Direct Engergy
Dress for Success Toronto is a registered Canadian Charity that changes the lives of Canadians and New Canadians by providing low income individuals with the necessary professional attire and career development tools they need to achieve success. Our unique wardrobe service helps clients look impressive, feel confident, and find employment.
Founded in 2000 by Jessica Roelink, the organization is volunteer-driven, utilizing the skills of many talented people. Since its inception, Dress for Success Toronto has outfitted over 8,000+ clients with over 50,000 professional garments and accessories.
People often tell me that they hate giving feedback. I ask why. They say, “I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.” We discuss it and they of course agree that it is worse to keep someone in the dark about their performance than it is to just tell them.
The discussion turns then to “how” to tell them. I usually say “The less you say, the more they will hear.” We work to craft a very specific message. It usually outlines the behaviors that are a problem and the impact of the behaviors. And that is it! No further embellishment. Keep it short and focused and the person gets the message. If they get the message, they can act on it. Nothing kinder then that.
Some good tips on changing behaviour. The most important part is to ask for the feedback, examine it unemotionally and decide to act upon it. The consequence could make it fun for some people. http://bit.ly/fDd85w
In preparation for an upcoming client workshop on Strategic Planning, I put together a list of resources that I thought would be useful to get them going. Then I thought: why not share this with everyone?
Everyone is going on or coming back from vacation this time of year. One of our clients just came back from a cruise and said to me, “I have one simple objective in my first week back. I am relaxed now. My perspective is great. I am working to keep this feeling for one extra week.” Once he does that, he plans to extend that feeling week by week right up until the next vacation. With focus he can do it. My challenge to you is to do the same. Next vacation extend that “vacation feeling” for one more week. And then do it again.
What is “overfunctioning”? I looked it up and came up with nothing in the dictionary. It is not an official word. Even though it is not a word, is a word I use a lot.
So here is my definition of “overfunctioning”. It means doing more for another person than they actually need. It means doing so much that the other person really doesn’t have to do anything. If someone asks you for help and you do more than help, you actually do that work then you are overfunctioning.
What is wrong with this? In the short run and in certain situations it isn’t too harmful. Let’s face it, overfunctioners make great employees. They are thorough, reliable, and conscientious. The work of an overfunctioner is usually impeccable.
In the long run, there is a lot wrong with overfunctioning. Eventually the overfunctioner gets tired and frustrated and feels under appreciated. By their very nature, overfunctioners get very little recognition for their toil. Even more importantly overfunctioners create underfunctioners. Underfunctioners are people who learn to do less. Why would an underfunctioner do more when they can rely on the overfunctioner to do it for them? Underfunctioners regress and become less effective and less engaged. They lose their skills. Everyone loses.
Several years ago I worked with a client who set very high standards for his people. Anyone who didn’t meet his standards heard from him. If his staff sent out work that was below his expectations, he would bring them into his office and itemize all that was wrong with their work. People would float into his office with a question and if the question wasn’t well thought out, he would interrupt and say, “You clearly haven’t done your homework. Come back and ask me again when you have.” If people took too long to explain their position he would lean back in his chair, cross his arms and sigh loudly. Needless to say, some people were frightened of him. Many of you may know someone like this and might wonder where this comes from. Here’s what I learned about him and about many others just like him.
He was so hard on others because he was very hard on himself. You can’t always see this but trust me – it is often the case. If this client made a mistake, he would agonize about it for days. Thinking things like, “How could I be so stupid to as missed that? Why wasn’t I better prepared? Why aren’t I more detailed?” His staff would likely have been quite surprised to know that.
In our coaching relationship, I helped him to be nicer to himself. He learned to be more comfortable with his own imperfection and he learned to stop beating himself up. Then the miracle happened, he allowed everyone some imperfection and he started to be nicer to his team. People were no longer afraid.
Many of you know that I have been a supporter of Dress for Success (DfS) Toronto and recently been appointed Chair of the board. DfS Toronto will be joining a world-wide celebration as part of International Women’s Day (IWD).
Celebrated annually on March 8th and globally recognized as a day of celebration of women’s achievements politically, economically and socially, it will be a day to raise visibility and raise funds for disadvantaged women – a powerful new way to put the spotlight on the economic independence of low income women. The first International Women’s Day event was in 1911 and 2011 marks the Global Centenary Year.
Please help us celebrate by matching the 100th Anniversary of International Women’s day with a $100 gift. Your donation will enable a woman to make the transition to empowerment and professional success. Here is just one example of how your gift can make a difference:
”I just got a job with St. Joseph’s (hospital) as a Medical Laboratory Technologist and I’d like to thank Dress for Success Toronto for providing me with nice attire for the interview. I appreciate all your help in choosing me a dress that would look professional on me.”
- Fatima, Feb. 7, 2011
A gift to support Dress for Success Toronto in honour of the Centenary Celebrations of IWD is an investment in women, equality and your community. I will be making my own donation. Please join me by making yours. Gifts of any amount are gratefully accepted! Donations can be made on-line at:
Everyone is going on or coming back from vacation this time of year. One of our clients just came back from a cruise and said to me, “I have one simple objective in my first week back. I am relaxed now. My perspective is great. I am working to keep this feeling for one extra week.” Once he does that, he plans to extend that feeling week by week right up until the next vacation. With focus he can do it. My challenge to you is to do the same. Next vacation extend that “vacation feeling” for one more week. And then do it again.
