It isn’t you.
Some people just make you feel uncomfortable. Some people make almost everyone feel uncomfortable. These people thrive on chaos. You probably know some people like this—probably in senior roles. I have several clients like this. I used to worry about it. I don’t now. I recognize it is not about my ability to coach. It is about this person’s style.
Some people gain power, stay personally protected, and get results by knocking other people off balance in conversation. It is a habit they have honed and perfected over time. It is a habit that works for them.
The only way to deal with someone like this is to recognize it and then not let it bother you. Period. That’s all you can do.
How do you recognize it? Notice if you leave almost every interaction with this person feeling somehow inadequate yourself. Ask others if they have the same experience with this person. If the answer is “yes”, it isn’t you.
Filed under:
coaching,
leadership,
motivation,
balance
Sandra Oliver - February 02, 2010
