Five questions.
Yes it’s true. My best ideas often come from clients. Here’s a great idea one client shared with me recently.
This particular client has a rather difficult boss. Her boss likes to find ways to assert his power with my client. He regularly calls her into his office to tell her what she has done wrong. He will cut her off and correct her in meetings. He has restricted her decision making power to the point where she has to ask his approval to “buy a pencil”. Fun eh?
What has she been doing all of this time? Well my client is no shrinking violet. She has been confronting him with her concerns. The situation has worsened.
When I talked to her last week she had a new strategy. She calls it “five questions”. Rather than reacting when he does something to upset her, she instead forces herself to ask him five questions and they have to be real questions. They cannot be questions like, “what the =#**#@ do you think you are doing?” The questions she asks are real questions—clarifying questions, like, “Help me understand what you mean when you say that…”
It’s a brilliant little technique. As she is thinking of five questions, she is not getting angry. When she asks the questions she disarms her boss as he thinks about his answer. They have better conversations.
My client may not stay in her current situation but while she is there, it will be a little less difficult for her.
Filed under:
situational coaching,
workplace,
influencing,
feedback
Sandra Oliver - September 29, 2009
