Blog Articles about Workplace
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March 04, 2010
Don’t ever argue ever.
This is a quote from Dale Carnegie.
Here’s the deal. If you argue and you win, the other person is angry. If you argue and you lose, you appear ineffective. If you agree to disagree chances are you are both angry.
There is no upside to arguing. Ever.
February 23, 2010
I nailed it and it was liberating!
A client called me this week. She had just finished a meeting with her boss. In the past several months her boss has been bullying her (she is one of the women I talked about in my last blog).
She said to me:
“I walked in to the meeting and I thought to myself, “I am a peer of this man and I am not going to let him push me around.”
I sat down across from him and we had our meeting. I was brilliant and it was liberating. I challenged him when I didn’t agree. I stood up for myself. I wasn’t defensive. I didn’t argue. I did what we discussed. I was factual, clear and focused and it felt great!”
Enough said.
September 29, 2009
Five questions.
Yes it’s true. My best ideas often come from clients. Here’s a great idea one client shared with me recently.
This particular client has a rather difficult boss. Her boss likes to find ways to assert his power with my client. He regularly calls her into his office to tell her what she has done wrong. He will cut her off and correct her in meetings. He has restricted her decision making power to the point where she has to ask his approval to “buy a pencil”. Fun eh?
What has she been doing all of this time? Well my client is no shrinking violet. She has been confronting him with her concerns. The situation has worsened.
When I talked to her last week she had a new strategy. She calls it “five questions”. Rather than reacting when he does something to upset her, she instead forces herself to ask him five questions and they have to be real questions. They cannot be questions like, “what the =#**#@ do you think you are doing?” The questions she asks are real questions—clarifying questions, like, “Help me understand what you mean when you say that…”
It’s a brilliant little technique. As she is thinking of five questions, she is not getting angry. When she asks the questions she disarms her boss as he thinks about his answer. They have better conversations.
My client may not stay in her current situation but while she is there, it will be a little less difficult for her.
November 20, 2008
Silence
My blog on performance management got a lot of positive energy and comments. My last blog was met with a thud of silence.
When I reached out, not everyone liked what I was proposing for compensation. Open systems are scary. Agreeing on salaries could take forever particularly with “some” people. I am not going to defend my suggestions because, truth be known, I’m not sure I’ve nailed it yet. But I will re-enforce a few things that I don’t think should be lost in the debate.
Remember my first blog? Performance management really doesn’t work very well. Everyone (almost) agreed with that. There was a feeling of “finally, someone said this” to your comments. Well, since performance management doesn’t work very well, we can’t link it tightly to other things. We should not link it to salaries.
November 04, 2008
Performance Management is so yesterday
Think about it. Even the words "performance management" are kind of off putting. Begging the question "Who are you to manage my performance?". I have always disliked the performance management process. I say this, even though as an HR professional early in my career, I helped put in place many performance management systems.
September 17, 2008
Don’t Give Your Strategy a Haircut.
The front page of every newspaper is full of doom and gloom today and almost every client I know is the midst of business planning.
What is their temptation in this environment? Give your strategy a haircut. Cut back on everything. No new initiatives. No new hires. No business travel. No external consultants. No big pay increases.
What is the impact? Mediocrity.
July 21, 2008
You can’t have trust without dependability
A client canceled a meeting today with me today. You are no doubt thinking, "So what? Happens all the time."
It happens all the time with some people. A few people never cancel. Everyone is busy.
February 04, 2008
Dealing With Difficult Bosses by Fixing Yourself
Take the High Road. Don't Give Up Power. Bosses are in the eye of the beholder. Very few bosses are universally bad for every person who ever worked for them. Keep power by suspending judgement and focusing on your own success. If you truely have a toxic boss, protect yourself by being "backed-up". Be Better. Take the high road and be good yourself, continuing to develop your professional and interpersonal skills. Become a good boss yourself, learning what not to do from your current boss.
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