Blog Articles about Influencing
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June 23, 2010
It isn’t all about the leader.
“Being aware of and celebrating differences and rewarding people for their contributions will go a long way to making sure that ensure that your team will be supportive even in a crisis.”
Read more about my views on the controversy over France’s national Football team in today’s Globe and Mail.
March 04, 2010
Don’t ever argue ever.
This is a quote from Dale Carnegie.
Here’s the deal. If you argue and you win, the other person is angry. If you argue and you lose, you appear ineffective. If you agree to disagree chances are you are both angry.
There is no upside to arguing. Ever.
September 29, 2009
Five questions.
Yes it’s true. My best ideas often come from clients. Here’s a great idea one client shared with me recently.
This particular client has a rather difficult boss. Her boss likes to find ways to assert his power with my client. He regularly calls her into his office to tell her what she has done wrong. He will cut her off and correct her in meetings. He has restricted her decision making power to the point where she has to ask his approval to “buy a pencil”. Fun eh?
What has she been doing all of this time? Well my client is no shrinking violet. She has been confronting him with her concerns. The situation has worsened.
When I talked to her last week she had a new strategy. She calls it “five questions”. Rather than reacting when he does something to upset her, she instead forces herself to ask him five questions and they have to be real questions. They cannot be questions like, “what the =#**#@ do you think you are doing?” The questions she asks are real questions—clarifying questions, like, “Help me understand what you mean when you say that…”
It’s a brilliant little technique. As she is thinking of five questions, she is not getting angry. When she asks the questions she disarms her boss as he thinks about his answer. They have better conversations.
My client may not stay in her current situation but while she is there, it will be a little less difficult for her.
January 05, 2009
A Return to Values
If you have been reading my blogs, you'll already know that I am an optimist. I have always believed that change is good. As I have said previously, even this current change in the economy is good. See my blogs for my thinking on this, "Change is Good. Even When it is Bad." and A Bad Economy is Good. In these blogs I talked about the reasons I think change is good:
- a greater focus on personal values and less focus on consumption
- a "clearing of the market" where marginal service providers will leave and great service providers will survive
- the economy as a "burning platform" to drive change
There is an additional reason this current economic change is good. It will change how leaders lead. You will see that that this happening already.
March 31, 2008
Persuasion Part Two
I go to the "Master" for this blog. A client asked me for a book on persuasion a few days ago. I didn't have one. I asked some of my contacts. I got a few ideas but no one raved about any one book. So, I went to the web and "goolged" "persuasion". Who's name should come up? Dale Carnegie. "How to Win Friends and Influence People." First published in 1936.
Carnegie is still the master of advice on influencing people. You certainly won't agree with all of his advice but it is worth reminding yourself of the really great things he taught. Here are some of my favorites.
March 26, 2008
Persuasion or Politics?
How do you see it? Persuasion or politics? Managing through organizational minefields can cause great angst, frustration and "wasted" energy. "Organizational Politics" is one of the most common topics discussed with my coaching clients.
I have a bias. I see "organizational politics" as persuasion and I encourage all of my clients to see it the same way. Why?
How you view organizational politics will make you more powerful.
November 21, 2007
Feedback is not positive or negative. It is information.
Feedback is merely information. Without it, you are in the dark. Few people are good at receiving it. Few people are good at giving it. Both are skills that can be developed.
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