Blog Articles about Greatness
March 04, 2010
Don’t ever argue ever.
This is a quote from Dale Carnegie.
Here’s the deal. If you argue and you win, the other person is angry. If you argue and you lose, you appear ineffective. If you agree to disagree chances are you are both angry.
There is no upside to arguing. Ever.
January 14, 2010
Be OK with Messy. You’ll be rewarded for your courage.
I love this:
“Committing yourself to doing something you’re not quite sure you can pull off and then moving into scramble mode, can be a pretty effective learning strategy. I made any number of false starts during, what I hope was for you at any rate, an enjoyable festive season. Transformational conversations are slippery things and are hard to get a good grasp of. Unlike transactional conversations that operate in the domain of what’s known and are, therefore, relatively tidy affairs, transformational conversations, because they are about matters not yet known, tend to be messy.”
This quote is from Brian Hayman’s latest newsletter. It resonated with me because I just had a messy but rewarding transformational conversation. I am working with a team and helping them develop their strategy. I went in cold yesterday with a list of possible things to discuss. I trusted my instincts on the right approach to use during the meeting. I didn’t have a stepwise process. The team conversation was energetic and enthusiastic and they accomplished more than I thought they would. I always amazed how much better strategic discussions can be when you improvise.
Brian, you’d be proud of me.
September 23, 2009
My next challenge. Do I have the courage?
I have started writing a book and truth be known, I am dabbling. I am running a business, enjoying my family and meeting my personal needs (hanging with friends and getting some exercise). I am walking the talk. I am balanced.
There is one hitch—writing a book is not something you dabble at. You write a little. You edit a lot. You write a little more. You edit a whole lot more. You look at what you wrote and you think,
“Is that it? All that time and that’s it?” I had no idea how much work it was.
That said, I am happy. I am enjoying writing and I want to write more.
I often tell my clients that careers are more like a set of stairs than a hill. You have periods of great growth and then periods of plateaus. I am perched right now on a plateau about to step up to a period of growth.
To really get growth, I need to scale back other things and just write. I need to take that step off the plateau and up that next riser.
Will I have the courage?
I did it five years ago and I will do it again. My next step up. I just have to figure out how.
August 21, 2009
Leave your watch at home.
I was leaving for my annual three week vacation and Claire, an IMPACT coach, wished me a good holiday and asked rhetorically,
“I wonder if you will come back and be philosophical like you were last year?”
Well the answer is, “Yes.” I am sitting in the cottage feeling philosophical so I thought I would write about it.
May 25, 2009
The Sixty Percent Leader.
I was inspired to write this blog by a meeting with one particular client but I have to say that I had similar conversations with many people all week. Funny how lots of people seem to be thinking the same things at the same time.
This client was frustrated with the shortcomings of one of the leaders in his organization and spent a good part of the meeting complaining about the mistakes this leader had made. Rightly so, the leader is not perfect.
But who is perfect and why do we expect our leaders to be perfect? I'd like to suggest that there are two reasons for our high expectations. One, management literature has done a disservice to all of us in setting up standards around the "perfect leader". We all look for a leader who is inspirational and personally attractive to us. We look for a leader who knows what to do in every situation.
Two, there may be an answer rooted in psychology. We put leaders on pedestals and then are disappointed when they don't measure up. Sound like any teenagers you know? Sometimes when I listen to clients it reminds of Eric Bern and his theory of Transactional Analysis. He says we can analyze our transactions and determine if we are in either Parent-Child or Adult-Adult relationships with our peers. Our disappointment with leaders is much more closely aligned with Parent-Child than it is with Adult-Adult. An angry child might say to a parent "You let me down. You didn't give me what I wanted." An Adult relationship would look more like "Help me understand why you decided to implement this decision." Adult relationships according to Bern are relationships where both parties learn from one another.
There are probably other reasons for this "leader on a pedestal" phenomena. However, if you follow this blog, you'll know that the "why" for me is less important than the "what are you going to do about it?"
Here is what my client is going to do about it. Every time he feels frustrated with the inadequacies of leaders, he is going to think the following, "Sixty percent is good enough." Why did we pick sixty percent? It reminds us both that people (and leaders) are not perfect. Eighty percent seems too close to perfect. It also reminds us that leadership of a large group of people is complex and constantly changing. I work with a large number of very smart people. Not even a very smart person knows the right thing to do in every situation.
Sound like my standards aren't high enough? Maybe, but last time I checked leading an organization is very complex and no one, not even a leader, is perfect.
May 12, 2009
Give.
One of my clients sent the following comments to my most recent blog.
"Read your blog this morning about connecting with people – and I totally agree. I was at my networking meeting yesterday and we were discussing business development. One of our members brought a suggestion to the table, which I thought was so great. Instead of focusing your business development on selling yourself, focus it (particularly at this time given the tough economy) on helping others. Lending some free advice, listening to people’s issues and offering suggestions without any expectations of immediate work – I think this will pay off big in the long run."
I couldn't say it better myself. I am a big fan of free advice. Of course eventually you'll need to get paid but before you do, you should plan to be helpful. How else will people know if you are good? So, don't worry about what you are going to get from meetings. Think about what you can give. The more you give, the better you'll feel and the more your network will appreciate you and refer you to others. Nothing wrong with that.
May 07, 2009
The Best Coping Strategy. Bar None.
I am sitting on a conference call with a team of people. We are discussing dealing with stress. There are lots of ideas. Some people are exercising. Some have taken some time off. Some are diving into work. All of these ideas are good ones.
In my opinion, the single most effective coping strategy is to get out and connect personally with people. What do I mean by this? I mean calling people whom you like and yet haven't spoken to in a while. I mean getting out and meeting new people. I mean spending even more time with people you see often.
Why is this the best way to cope? Just being with people often makes you feel better. Talking to people about what is bothering you in a positive way can really help you work through change. Merely the act of talking releases stress. As you speak of what is bothering you, you feel that "thing" become smaller. In your head, it feels big. As you discuss it, it shrinks.
Talking to others also causes others to feel closer to you. When you open up about something that you care about it shows vulnerability and shows that you are "human". This causes people to feel more connected to you. It is human nature to want to be part of a community. As others feel more connected to you, you feel safer and more comfortable and so do they. That connection is exponential. So be honest and have enough courage to share what is really bothering you. Just do it in a professional way.
If you can't bring yourself to exercise, that's OK. At the very least, take someone for coffee or even better, take someone for a walk.
January 18, 2009
Making Values Stick
As I discussed in my last blog, great leaders show an unwavering commitment to a clear set of values. It is relatively easy to have a set of values. We all do. The trick is to be clear on those values and to use those values as a means to mobilize others.
I hope you tried the exercise that I suggested to better clarify your own values or "leadership voice". If you didn’t click through to my last blog and try it.
Here is the next step--another short exercise that will help you determine if you are making your values stick. If you do this exercise you will be making your values exceptionally clear to all around you. Before the exercise, you’ll need a little background.
January 05, 2009
A Return to Values
If you have been reading my blogs, you'll already know that I am an optimist. I have always believed that change is good. As I have said previously, even this current change in the economy is good. See my blogs for my thinking on this, "Change is Good. Even When it is Bad." and A Bad Economy is Good. In these blogs I talked about the reasons I think change is good:
- a greater focus on personal values and less focus on consumption
- a "clearing of the market" where marginal service providers will leave and great service providers will survive
- the economy as a "burning platform" to drive change
There is an additional reason this current economic change is good. It will change how leaders lead. You will see that that this happening already.
November 16, 2008
Compensation is always a trade-off.
Once you come to terms with the fact that compensation is always a trade-off and never perfect, you are released from trying to justify compensation decisions. Wouldn't it be wonderful not to have to justify? I have coached many people on how to handle tough compensation discussions. It is rarely rewarding for either party.
In my last blog, "Performance Management is so Yesterday", I talked about how current performance management systems sap motivation and are often "widely inaccurate". I suggested changing to a true "coaching and development model". In this model conversations are frequent and focused on support and problem solving and not on assessment and ratings.
This blog resulted in lots of comments -- the vast majority of comments were supportive. Here's a sample.
"People are tired of the way we do performance management. It is cumbersome and the conversations are difficult." "It is unheard-of for the hockey coach to play his team for half the season and then sit down and spend an hour telling each player what he or she did right and what needs to be improved. He needs to be talking to his whole team and each of his players continuously."
I share this hockey analogy comment because it highlights how ludicrous our current approach is. I'll continue with this analogy as I move into the next question to be answered-- "if we can't rate them, how do we pay them?"
