Blog Articles about Communications Coaching
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July 20, 2010
Like, um, you know, Dealing with Those Bad Communications Habits, eh
We all know them. They’re those people who are skilled and intelligent, maybe even exemplary at what they do, but whose communications habits are so irritating and persistent that people would rather avoid the individual rather than sit through another excruciating conversation or meeting with them. I once had a colleague like this. She had great ideas, but they were weakened by her inability to make it through a sentence without saying “like” every third word or so. She spoke in a valley-girl style upspeak (an intonation when you’re saying something, such that it sounds like a question) and she had a tendency to share ideas in loud bursts punctuated by snorts.
One day she came into my office and complained that she felt she wasn’t taken seriously at work. She felt she wasn’t being heard. She was right —her habits were getting in the way. The good news is that they were just habits and they could be eliminated or changed.
April 21, 2010
Are you listening?
I am writing this blog to the couple sitting across from me on the airplane. (They don’t know this of course). There is a very attractive woman and a man (glasses, kind of ordinary looking). They are clearly co-workers.
The woman has talked loudly, non stop for an hour or more. She is animated. Her hands are expressive. She bobs her head as she talks. She talks fast.
The man is mostly quiet. The man starts a sentence. The woman launches into another sentence before he finishes his. He stops and let’s her talk.
The man has his arms and legs folded. He is intermittently squinting like he is being “hit” by her words. Mostly he is nodding and saying “yes”, “I understand.” “Uh huh.”
He is patient.
I want to shout “pay attention!” I won’t. That is his job.“Why doesn’t he ask to be heard?”, I think to myself.
The art of conversation—is it dead?
March 19, 2010
You cannot control anyone but yourself.
One of my clients is struggling with a meeting he plans with one of his senior staff people next week. This staff person has been difficult in the past. Meetings are always fine but have no impact. The staff person agrees with whatever feedback is offered and agrees to take action. That same staff person then proceeds to do whatever he wants which of course does not include what my client has asked him to do. My client is the “boss”. He runs the practice this staff person works in.
To further complicate matters, the staff person is mediocre. He is not awful. What should my client do?
January 05, 2009
A Return to Values
If you have been reading my blogs, you'll already know that I am an optimist. I have always believed that change is good. As I have said previously, even this current change in the economy is good. See my blogs for my thinking on this, "Change is Good. Even When it is Bad." and A Bad Economy is Good. In these blogs I talked about the reasons I think change is good:
- a greater focus on personal values and less focus on consumption
- a "clearing of the market" where marginal service providers will leave and great service providers will survive
- the economy as a "burning platform" to drive change
There is an additional reason this current economic change is good. It will change how leaders lead. You will see that that this happening already.
July 10, 2008
Blah, blah, blah
Leadership communications -- blah, blah, blah! That's how most people experience most leadership communications. Most are long winded email updates written by someone other than the leader or quarterly presentations on fancy Powerpoint slides (also written by someone other than the leader).
The subject matter of these communications is usually the organization's strategy. The strategy often comes off as sounding like platitudes. People feel preached at, bored or leave wondering what their role is. So how can you be different?
January 11, 2008
The Third Thing.
A really smart person once told me, "When someone comes into your office, it is always the third thing."
It is not the first thing. It is not the second thing. It is the third thing.
Here's the scenario. Someone is lurking outside your door. They want to speak to you. You put down whatever you are doing and invite them in. You wait. They ask you about your weekend. They ask a question about a project. You know they know the answer to the question. You answer it. They say the "third thing". If you are listening, it is the thing that matters. It is the reason they wanted to see you.
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