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Home ›  The Impact Blog ›  You cannot control anyone but yourself.

You cannot control anyone but yourself.

Comment on this article (1)

One of my clients is struggling with a meeting he plans with one of his senior staff people next week. This staff person has been difficult in the past. Meetings are always fine but have no impact. The staff person agrees with whatever feedback is offered and agrees to take action. That same staff person then proceeds to do whatever he wants which of course does not include what my client has asked him to do. My client is the “boss”. He runs the practice this staff person works in.

To further complicate matters, the staff person is mediocre. He is not awful. What should my client do?

 

The answer is that there is not much else he can do. He has already expressed his expectations quite well in previous meetings—to no avail.

In this meeting next week, he can be transparent. He can say the following, “In previous meetings we have discussed a plan of action. We have left the meeting and my impression is that you have not taken the actions we agreed to. I’d like to understand why this is happening. I’d like to leave this meeting and be confident that there will be a different result.” He can then stop and let his staff person respond. If the conversation goes well there is a chance that the staff person could make some changes and actually do what he is asked.

It is equally likely that the same thing that has happened in the past will happen again. The meeting will go well (or not) and the staff person will do what they have done in the past which is exactly what they want to do and not what my client wants them to do. Now what?

My client must know his Plan B.  If the person is mediocre but not awful, Plan B might be to spend less time on him, give him work he can do and leave him to do it. Plan B might also include telling him that he will not be promoted beyond his current position. Plan B is not always termination for the staff person. Plan B might, in this case, be more for the leader. The leader has done his best. It is time to focus on someone who wants to grow, be promoted and be part of a team.

The world of work is complicated. You can’t influence everyone and everyone does not cooperate. All you can do is your best as a leader. If the other person doesn’t want to play, have a Plan B.

 

 

Sandra Oliver - March 19, 2010
Filed under: communications coaching, coaching, coaching strategy, leadership, leading in a downturn, feedback, change