Dealing With Difficult Bosses by Fixing Yourself
Take the High Road. Don't Give Up Power. Bosses are in the eye of the beholder. Very few bosses are universally bad for every person who ever worked for them. Keep power by suspending judgement and focusing on your own success. If you truely have a toxic boss, protect yourself by being "backed-up". Be Better. Take the high road and be good yourself, continuing to develop your professional and interpersonal skills. Become a good boss yourself, learning what not to do from your current boss.
Expand Your Network. Get to know other people in your organization. A network of senior people who know your work and abilities increases both your power and your confidence.
"Let It Hit the Wall": In "Getting to Yes", (here's a summary of the book) Fischer, uses this is a negotiating technique. Let your boss' remarks "hit the wall behind your head and slide down to the floor" . If asked an insulting question, don't respond directly, but refocus instead on the business goals. Stay focused on your common interest, which is doing your job well. If you get angry, you lose power.
Be Happy. Always be polite, courteous and co-operative. Afterall, what is most important is how you enjoy your work and how well you do your job. Don't focus on the boss too much. It is you and your work that matters.
Adjust your style. What do you know about your boss? How does he or she like to work? How well are you adjusting your approach to meet your boss' preferences? Often "bad bosses" are bad for you because they don't meet your needs. If you focus on their needs, you will build trust and improve the relationship. If you improve the relationship, you can ask for what you want (e.g. more autonomy, more responsibility, etc.)
Finally, Just in Case, Be Backed Up: Document more than you might normally. Confirm instructions using email. Document inappropriate things your boss does or says. You can decide how to deal with this depending upon the situation but you want to be well backed up (hopefully you won't need it). "If your boss tells you to stop writing things down, explain that writing is the best way for you to be sure you understood correctly, and you want to be sure you are doing the right thing" .
Sandra Oliver - February 04, 2008
Filed under:
coaching,
workplace
Sandra Oliver
Sandra Oliver Sandra Oliver is a leadership coach and consultant with more than 17 years experience in Corporate HR leadership roles. Her expertise includes change management and succession planning. Sandra is the founder of IMPACT Consulting Inc.
Comments (2)
1
Hey Sandra - love your blog. There’s some good stuff here—now I know how to deal with all my difficult bosses (just kidding). Do you mind if I send it to others? Greg & Bruce might be interested…
Joseph
By Joseph Petrie on February 13, 2008
2
absolutely—please send it along
By Sandra Oliver on February 13, 2008